March 2025

 Blessed Ostara

Ostara signifies the balance between day and night, marking the transition from the darker winter months to the lighter spring season.  It marks the spiritual awakening of nature, symbolizing balance, renewal, and the promise of new beginnings, with themes of fertility and growth. 

To celebrate, it's the perfect time to go on a walk outdoors, plant some seeds, and spend some time in nature. Decorating eggs and making a spring wreath are common traditions for this holiday, as well as creating an Ostra altar. Casting a circle, performing spring cleaning, and practicing meditation with mindfulness are also great ways to practice on this holiday. 

Adventures!

Juno:

Juno is as cute as ever! He is the PERFECT ESA dog! 

He had his birthday at the end of this month, and we spoiled him with his own doggy cake and a new toy that he de-fluffed on the same day. He's been super good for me to keep walking and getting to be outside when my chronic pain allows me to. 

So far, the snow is his favorite weather, and he has learned to play with pinecones. Luckily, he doesn't eat them; he just likes to chew things and spit them out. 

Friends & Family: 

I had the opportunity to go see a musical called Next to Normal with some work colleagues. It was so emotional that even the actors were crying. It's one of my new favorites Next to Rent! It's a sad musical that's about a family living with mental health disorders and processing grief, but it pulled at my heartstrings in all the right ways. 

I've also discovered something about myself. Last month, you read that I was burned out from going out and being social. I still am, but I've learned that it's because I can only do one social thing a week, even if that means it's a doctor's appointment. 

That's just how my neurodivergent self is. I've felt less burned out working full time and giving myself adequate time of rest that I need. It's been nice because I'm starting to have the energy and attention span to do the things that I love to do in the comfort of being at home with myself (and Juno). It actually explains a lot for me of why I didn't mesh well on Twitch and constantly hanging out with people every week. I want to, but I am an introvert who thrives more by being alone vs being around others. I can't be or stay alone for too long; everyone needs the dopamine that friendships provide. 

Sheldon and I also went on a date to see a live interpretive dance performance called Shen Yun, and it was pretty incredible to get to see and learn about stories told in China and experience their traditional cultural arts just a little bit. 

Language Learning:

  I am on day 178 with Duolingo Spanish! That's all there is to brag about right there. I still couldn't hold a conversation with you if I wanted to. 

Gaming:

I'm still grinding Hello Kitty Island Adventure along with Enshrouded. I also started and finished the first chapter of Lost Records:  Bloom & Rage! The second part of the game comes out next month. It's from the same creators as the Life is Strange series. That series is one of my ultimate favorites, and I could geek out to anyone about the order in which to play them to understand all of the Easter eggs! 

Reading:

I've taken a break on Game of Thrones because it's a pretty long commitment, and my attention span vs the short time you have for a library book to be checked out kind of shut me off. That will be another try later on.

I have been successfully getting through the Percy Jackson series to where I'm at the final book, which is on hold, many people are waiting to check it out at the library. The fourth book in the  Mortal Instrument series is also on hold for me as well. 

In the meantime, I have gone through all of the Spiderwick Chronicles books. I never realized how short of a read they are. As a kid, I always saw them in the library and thought to check them out, but I never did because I knew I didn't have the attention span to sit and focus on reading. I liked reading; it was just hard to force myself to sit still, and sometimes, I would have to read something over and over again because my mind would wander. YAY, undiagnosed ADHD!

I also started the Artemis Fowl series, which is interesting. Another one I always saw at school and had on my "to read" list. I went in totally blind to it, only knowing that it was another popular young adult series. It's about a kid who is a villain. I was close; I thought it was about a kid who was a spy. Now I'm waiting for book 3 on my Libby hold list. 

As I waited for my ever-piling list of holds, I started the book series called Uglies. Another one that I saw in school. It was really well done, and the second book has a long waitlist as well. Let's just say the Netflix adaptation was awful and doesn't do it justice! 

To multi-task, I also started a series called The Games God's Play, which is about the Greek gods choosing a Mortal every year to participate in games and see which God could be the new ruler of Olympus. I've listened to it as I've taken Juno on walks and listened to it, and it's not bad. The writer has some pent-up sexual tension about wanting to hook up with Hades big time. I did end up returning it halfway through because it wasn't holding my interest. I will give it another chance later. 

Anime/K-Dramas:

Last month, I binged a K-Drama called It's A Good Day to be A Dog." This month, I've been binging on one called "Extra Ordinary You." The first one was about a girl who had a family curse that if they kissed someone, they would turn into a dog. They have 100 days to reverse the curse by having that person kiss them again, but in dog form. The only problem is that the guy she kissed is totally afraid of dogs! 

The second one breaks the fourth wall by having the characters realize they're in a Manga book, and so they try to change the story, but they can't control what the writer chooses to do. I'm still watching it. I just have been on an attention span kick, so I've been jumping between things that I've been doing. 

My current anime is called "New Game," and it's about an 18-year-old girl who has her first job designing characters in a game, and it turns out to be her favorite game series that inspired her to follow this career. It's super adorable. 

Iseaki Con:

I had the opportunity to check out Iseki anime con this year! Every time I go to a convention, I naturally want to support every artist's booth, but alas, my financial state couldn't handle that. I was able to help by some books from a local author, and I love having the opportunity to do so! I wanted to cosplay really badly, but I don't have any costumes that fit me now. My weight loss journey is a slow and steady pace, but also, they're a few years old, so it's about time to either alter them or make/buy new ones. It's not like I go to conventions often enough to wear them a lot. Conventions and Concerts are the same for me. I go to one once and move on to the next one on my bucket list. They didn't sell enough of their bags last year, so they were handing them out for free this year, hence the 2023. 

Concerts: 

I keep saying that I'm over going to concerts, but then I keep going to them. I'm a one-and-done kind of person. I want to see an artist at least once, and then I'll be happy. I've seen a couple of bands twice, and something in my brain just shuts off to it. I think it narrows down to the pros and cons for me. 

Pro: I enjoy the type of music that makes me happy and means something to me. I am in a room full of strangers who share one common interest with me for just a couple of hours. We all are there to enjoy the same music and support someone we like. I love the general aesthetic of concerts and how music makes you feel Alive with dopamine. Tomorrow isn't promised, but we have one night of a great experience to remember. 

Con: I am in a room full of strangers. I have to stress about taking a Lyft to the concert and finding a spot for it to pick me up after the concert. How much money will I spend on Lyft and on beer at the concert? Am I going to have a decent view and comfortable spot in the back to hear and see it all, or will I be claustrophobic and surrounded by disrespectful people? How late can I show up to miss the openers while not missing the window of them letting people inside? 

LØLØ

I'm super excited that I got to see LØLØ in concert for her very first headline tour! She has always been open for bands but never had her own show! It was held at Kilby Court, which was interesting because it's a tiny garage for beginner artists. You could see on the walls all the stickers piled up from years of shows. She cried a little and expressed how anxious she was to have her own tour, but she was so happy she got us and a lot of other shows to sell out! One of my favorite songs by her to look up is called "Debbie Downer." 

Emei 

I'm also excited that I got to see Emei for her very first headline tour as well! It was super neat to have a second concert to experience at Kilby Court and see how different it could be depending on the artist and their style. At one point, she had us all sit on the ground as she went to the middle of the floor and sang a dedication song to her grandma that made us all cry. A rollercoaster of fun and emotion! One of my favorite songs by her to look up is called "Scatterbrain."

Poppy

Poppy was a blast! I love seeing her albums progress over the years, transitioning from pop to alternative rock to heavy metal. This show was her most recent heavy metal album, and she was encouraging mosh pits the entire time. I found a cozy comfort spot by the wall and enjoyed a good beer. I arrived just in time to catch a little of the opener but got right into the show! Despite my anxiety, it always feels good to go to a show alone now and then just for that independence. One of my favorite songs by her to look up is called "Am I a girl?" 
(I couldn't get a good photo and it made me so sad! At least I'll have the memory.)

MXMToon

This concert in particular was a unique blast! My cousin brought her friend along who happened to have a lot of common interests as me in the music area. Also, shout out to this cousin because she's the only family that I'm aware of who takes the time to sit and read this blog. I love her so much! One of my favorite songs by her to look up is called "Prom Dress." 

Mental Health Status:

This one is kind of short because my Psychologist has been sick for two weeks in a row, and when we got together again to go over the autism test, I needed to vent about personal things instead. There will still be progress to come, just baby steps. I'm really grateful to be able to talk to someone weekly who I trust and who can help me understand my thinking. Mental health doesn't mean you're broken; it means that you're unique, and it's okay if we all don't fit in the same box on how we do and understand things. 

 Physical Health Status:

Gastroenterology (SFW):

The good news is that my fissure is clearing up! She was impressed that the cream had been working for me because it usually has a low success rate with people. 

I think part of it is thanks to me changing my diet to try and be healthier for my overall health. She said to keep it up because things can re-tear if we aren't too careful. I would much rather not have surgery if I don't need it. 

This now puts me in a good position for a colonoscopy, so I'll be having that in the first week of April. I'm not excited, but I'd rather be sure my health is in the best condition possible. 

MRI/MRA:

My MRI/MRA went really well. I took some Vallum that was prescribed to me for it, so it helped with my claustrophobia. I requested some Lo-fi music to play, which almost put me to sleep. Holding Stull was very hard because falling asleep made me worry I would twitch. Yet I was trying to focus on my breathing, which made me realize I was in an enclosed space, so it was a game of not thinking about all of that. They gave me an emergency button to hold, but I kept it in reach and out of my hand due to the fear that my ADHD would fidget. 

I didn't even feel the contrast. My arm hurt a little, but that was it. The phlebotomist teased me for not liking needles when I have tattoos. I always have to explain that tattoo needles go through layers of skin and into a vein. There's a huge difference! 

All in all, my results came back normal, so my migraines don't seem to be of any concern, which is positive. 

 Foot/Ankle/Knees Update:

I'm not in my boot or brace anymore. It is confirmed that the Achilles tendonitis is healing, but it is still sore. My main pain is confirmed to be Achilles Tendonitis in both of my feet. The muscle has stretched so badly that it's caused a little pain sharp point in my heels, or so the x-rays show. My doctor thinks my knee pain is from the imbalance of the boot and any front of ankle pain is me getting used to walking more again. I have new shoe inserts, and my physical therapy will be added to my current sessions.

I will be getting a second opinion from my primary care doctor because, despite physical therapy, I've been having a connected pain from my hip to my knees to my ankle, and it's made it really hard to take Juno on walks.  I'm wondering if I have a pinched nerve or something. 

Physical Therapy:

I've moved past my weekly physical therapy appointments for my arm tendonitis and have moved forward with at-home progress on once-a-month visits. My lower back pain seems to be a lot of hip flexibility issues, not just the arthritis. As well as the posture of my neck and shoulders. Taking my two-mile walks with Juno has been showing progress not just with weight loss but also in helping the flexibility of my lower back. My PT said that walking is the best weight loss and back exercise, so I am glad I was already on the ball. It's been a challenge with my foot and ankle still hurting, but that's okay. 

I did review my doctor's notes from the appointment and got the proper diagnosis for my back pain that wasn't in last month's blog post due to not having the paperwork. My official diagnosis for my back is: DDD (Degenerative Disc Disease), Facet Arthritis, Sacroiliac Joint Arthritis, Core & Hip Deconditioning and (my upper neck)- Reversal of Normal Cervical Lordosis, also known as Tech Neck. 

Overall, my pain all seems to be connected in one way or another, so it's just going to be a journey of continuing exercises meant to help with my arm pain, neck pain, back pain, foot pain, etc. 

 Gynecology (SFW):

The long awaited results of my Ultrasound have arrived. They had found a cyst on my right ovary. While they're natural and come and go, this one is recurring. It always makes me worry it's my appendix because it's in the same area. This pain radiates all up my right side sometimes. 

My left ovary has a slight blood vessel blockage. They said it's nothing to worry about. It appears that a cyst popped, and it's clearing up leftover blood. 

They found a uterine fibroid, which is a non-cancerous tumor. They said it's only an inch big, so they aren't worried about it.  

For now, they have put me on estrogen-free birth control. I explained that one of my older sisters had a uterine fibroid, and then they found her endometriosis that way. Genetically, there's a chance I have it, too. 

I also expressed my worry that I have migraines, so taking birth control puts me at risk of a blood clot or heart stroke. They put me on the lowest dose and said they would follow up in six months to see how the cancer cells were doing, and if the birth control didn't help with my pain, then they'd consider doing a Laparoscopy. I guess it's an insurance procedure as well to say I've tried all the options so they will be willing to help pay for it. 

Health Wrap Up:

I've been tired of my chronic pain affecting my daily life for years on end now. I'm mostly happy that I'm able to afford to see health care professionals who listen to me and want to help me in any way possible. I'm also really grateful to be in a position to have decent health insurance and the income to accomplish all of these visits. My nasal surgery is next month as well, so stay tuned next month to see how I'm feeling and recovering. 

Final Thoughts:

Thank you to those of you who take the time each month to read about my life and catch up with my introverted self! I really appreciate it! To those that message me and talk to me about it afterward, it makes me feel so giddy and warm that you took the time and interest in it! If you've been reading this but not talking to me, that's okay, too! I appreciate you just as much! I'll see you all next month!