February 2026
10 Years Together & 1 Year Adoptiversary!
The end of this month also marks the first anniversary of us adopting Juno! He's become a much more cuddly and social dog since we took him in. I'm glad to see him happy with us. He's very loving and protective of me. He sometimes cuddles me to sleep, but every morning, he curls up next to me, which makes it hard to get out of bed for the day. On one of our walks, as we passed by a little dog that wanted Juno to say hi to it at the fence. It stopped barking after they sniffed each other, so I stuck my hand out to let it sniff me. After it sniffed me, it started barking at me like crazy, so Juno jumped right in between us and gave it a warning growl. It was very cute and protective. I just had us keep walking on after that.
I forgot to mention in my last blog post that while in Arizona, I also purchased a Powerball ticket for the first time! I didn't win, and didn't expect to either. I just wanted the experience since I'm a sheltered Utah kid.
Iron Lung:
As long-time fans of Markiplier, we have been waiting for the last couple of years for this movie to be released! I would say that it is more suspenseful than horror, but it did get a little gory at the end. For a small independent film, it was INCREDIBLY done! I can't wait for it to be released on DVD/Blu-ray to purchase!
My sister-in-law was also very kind to print the exclusive movie popcorn bucket for us.
My sister, who is sick, keeps wanting us to take her on one last family trip before she goes. The trip she wants us to take her on is to Torrey, Utah, where we have some family history with our great-grandmother. It's a small seasonal tourist town, so not much would be open for the winter right now.
Instead, we took her on a walk around the International Peace Gardens to be able to feel like she traveled the world a little bit. By the end of the day, she had no memory of it and was still asking us for a family vacation, but at least we were able to take her out for a little bit.
Reading:
Mental Health Status:
Psychiatry/Psychology:
Oh man, this month has been both stressful and exhausting. Work decided to have us train on a new system while we were already short-staffed for the month, which made us even more short-staffed during the week. As stressful as it was, I kept reminding myself that I don’t get paid to do the job of more than one person. I can only do what I can do, and if I do more than that, it will become an expectation that leads to burnout.
I have a lot of black-and-white thinking when it comes to work ethic. I was thrown into management at 18 years old and was trained by some really professional boomers at the time. I think a bit of my OCD and perfectionism comes into play here. I keep falling into those old habits that aren’t necessarily bad, but might not be physically or mentally healthy in the long run.
Things with my sister have progressed. This comes into another “how much do I share” moment because it involves more family now. This is my blog, and I can say what I want, but I also try to protect information that isn’t about my immediate family (me, Sheldon, and Juno).
My sister’s husband has had just as much of a drinking problem as she has. She tried AA in the past, and I personally didn’t feel like it was a great fit for her unless someone connects with the spiritual side of it. Programs that really dig into the “why” behind addiction seem more helpful, since everyone’s reasons are different, and therapy can really help address the root of the issue.
I know my sister would get upset every time she found alcohol hidden in the house. At one point, he even had some hidden in shampoo bottles. It was his way of “supporting” her not drinking while still continuing to drink himself. That upset would sometimes cause her to impulsively drink alcohol out of spite.
He ended up losing his job a while back because he couldn’t stay sober at work, and his drinking has caused a few seizures. Because of that, his memory has been short when it comes to conversations with my sister, and it shows in his texts to her, our family, and me.
Things eventually progressed and became a little scary. He kept telling my sister that she was faking being sick and calling her lazy for not helping clean the house or work. He would say he had to quit his job to take care of her, which isn’t true at all. When we asked if he needed help with her, he would sometimes say yes, but then follow it up with, “No thanks, I got it. I don’t need APS involved. The kids can take care of their mom.” We had to remind him that the kids are minors and shouldn’t be responsible for taking care of their mother.
I was near the end of my shift when my sister started calling me. I didn’t answer at first, but then I started getting mass texts from my siblings saying she had called them too. Her husband had the back blade of a knife against his throat and was telling her he was going to end his life and that she was the reason people kill themselves. Her 11-year-old autistic son managed to disarm him, and my oldest sister and brother called the police.
None of us has a great relationship with our brother, but I’m glad he stepped up and helped call for our sister during that moment. Our biological father heard about the situation and wants to take our sister’s husband’s side and help him. I’m trying to empathize and think about how he used to be that way with our mom, so maybe he feels some kind of understanding. But I also have a lot of bitterness from my experiences with him, and part of me wonders if it’s his way of justifying his past actions now that someone else is in a similar position.
For now, my mom has legal care of my sister, and I have been placed as a secondary caregiver, per both my mother's and my sister's requests. My mother also temporarily has my nephew. My niece is with her biological dad, who isn’t my sister’s husband. This is such a hard situation because it’s incredibly unfair to the kids. Both my sister and her husband let things get this far without thinking about them. But I also know my sister — the pain she’s carried from childhood into adulthood, and how she never really received the proper help, love, or care. I can understand why she made the decisions she did. It’s that difficult reality where two opposite things can be true at the same time. That’s something I struggle with because I grew up thinking everything had to be one or the other.
I don’t know what’s going to happen from here. The house isn’t in good condition, and her husband being unemployed for months isn’t going to help his case. APS and CPS are now involved, and we just have to see what happens next.
I am proud that I’ve finally set some boundaries. I have no control over what happens to my sister or the kids. I made it clear that I can’t emotionally or mentally handle reading text after text about everything happening. I’ve also had to say that since I’m not one of the children’s parents or my sister’s caretaker, I need to step away from certain situations and let the people responsible handle them.
I’m just really glad my sister is still alive. Sometimes when I’m grieving all of this, I find a strange comfort in thinking about what I would say at her funeral someday. It’s just been a lot to handle.
Physical Health Status:
I finally had my 6-month post-nasal surgery follow-up 9 months later. My doctor was pregnant, so the appointment was pushed out. I became sick with post-nasal drip and had to wait a little longer to be seen. It finally happened, though! She took a peek in each of my nostrils and said that they look like they've healed well enough that she didn't even need to use a scope! So from here, I don't need any further appointments unless something else comes up. They did advise to keep up on my daily nasal rinses and Flonase to help with general allergies.
One Month Lasik Follow-Up:
We proceeded to follow through with the surgery at the end of this month. I only had 15 hours of PTO to spare, and my surgery recovery time doesn't qualify for disability pay. With us beign short staffe,d I volunteered to come in a couple of extra days before surgery to make up for hours. So by the time my surgery came around, I was very excited to nap from the anesthesia.
I wasn't nervous about it at all until they brought me into the surgery room. The table was set up for me to lie on my stomach, and a pillow was centered in place for stomach comfort. Maybe it was just the idea of being the one on the surgery table that hit me. Luckily, I fell asleep pretty quickly and didn't wake up until I was brought into the recovery room.
You know how your lips go completely numb when you get oral surgery? That feeling that you know your lips are there, but when you bite them, you can't feel them? Then you get afraid of biting too hard because you don't want to hurt yourself. That's the level of numb my butt felt the first day.
My first bowel movement afterwards was sore but a lot less painful than having the fissure. So I guess I can say that surgery was a success! It's been uncomfortable to walk around, so I've had some good help with Juno. The stitches are slowly dissolving, and it hasn't been pleasant.
My lab results came back, and not only did they remove the fissure/skin tag, but they also removed a hemroid and a fistula that I didn't know I had. So I guess in the long run it's good that I skipped the Botox option and went straight to surgery. My word of advice is to keep up your hydration and fiber every day because it's not worth the pain of being butt-hurt.
Final Thoughts:
I know I've said it a lot in past posts, but I have to remind myself to focus on my little family for happiness. Juno has been such a stable emotional support for me through all of this. The times that I have broken down crying hes sat right in front of me in a protective mode, and I just hug and pet him until I calm down.
During my surgery recovery at home, I started finding interest again in doing small crafts, playing some games, and watching tv. It's been a while since I've been able to hyperfocus on something. I think that I get into such a zone of stress and work that I don't get enough sleep, and it spirals me into thinking that I don't have enough time to do things before bed. It takes away my enjoyment and turns things into "I have to because I feel I need to: tasks instead.
I'm going to do better at changing that mindset. Thank you for taking the time to read this month's post, and I will see you all next month!
